Psychology, Self Help

The Illusion of Control: Embracing Uncertainty in Life

Ogunbiyi Kayode


March 12, 2024

Life unfolds as a captivating journey, weaving together moments of joy, challenges, and unexpected turns. One of the profound truths it reveals is the fallacy of control we often cling to. In the face of unforeseen changes and circumstances, the illusion of control shatters, leaving us to grapple with uncertainty. This reality became undeniably apparent in my one’s life when a shift in life expectancy and trajectory disrupts what seemed certain, thus triggering a need to confront the fragile nature of control.

Some people, blinded by all the milestones and networks they’ve built over the course of a career, believe life could only be glamorous ever after. They are convinced that they hold the reins to their future, oblivious to the fact that life has other intentions. Despite our ego desperately clinging to control, alas, frustration and a profound sense of loss accompany this sudden disruption. The perceived control, assumed to be inherent, unravels into a stark illusion in the face of reality.

In the midst of this internal turmoil, we have to appreciate the beauty inherent in uncertainty and find joy in the present moment. Releasing the need for certainty and embrace the unknown could be a very humbling encounter but it paves the way for growth. True strength arises from adaptability and surrendering, not from attempting to dictate outcomes.

Acknowledging life’s unpredictability allows us to value the beauty of an unscripted journey, focusing on the present moment and finding solace in uncertainty. The reality is that we cannot exert true control over the external circumstances of our lives. Others’ decisions, the outcomes of our efforts, and the unpredictable forces of the world lie beyond our grasp. Yet, we possess the power to control our mindset and how we respond to uncertainty.

Rather than dreading uncertainty, we can regard it as an opportunity for growth and exploration. Cultivating a growth mindset enables us to perceive challenges as chances for learning and improvement. Rather than dwelling on past mistakes, we can approach setbacks with curiosity and a desire to understand. Nurturing resilience involves adopting positive coping mechanisms such as self-care and seeking support. Embracing imperfection and learning from experiences propel us forward.

Embracing life’s twists and turns, even when challenging, creates space for unexpected growth and discovery. Genuine strength lies in embracing uncertainty and finding our way forward, one step at a time. Understanding that nothing remains the same in any consecutive moment provides a foundation for transformation, healing, and emancipation. Change is inevitable, and coping with it becomes an art in itself.

The theme of uncertainty resonates in various aspects of our lives, extending from career disruptions to the choices we make in relationships. Society often gravitates towards routines of sameness, seeking the comfort of certainty. However, this very inclination has contributed to a collective unhappiness over the past decades. Unhappy individuals tend to isolate themselves, entertaining thoughts of anger, envy, meaninglessness, fear, and sadness – seeds planted in the mind, the same fertile ground where diseases take root.

As adults, we disconnect from the child-like qualities within us that call for freedom and expression. This disconnection leads us to ignore signals indicating we might be in the wrong relationship or job, prioritizing comfort and certainty over authentic living.

Breaking free from this pattern requires releasing fear, stepping into personal power, and trusting in the continuous support and guidance present in our lives. Acknowledging the quiet, inner voice – not as that of an immature child but as our spirit, our truth – becomes paramount. While having plans may seem like a shield against pain and disappointment, life’s uncertainties guarantee encounters with these emotions.

Uncertainty is not an anomaly but a constant companion in our daily lives. Balancing the demands of a busy life requires a panoramic view to bring things back into alignment. Each area, akin to an energy wheel, requires attention to move forward smoothly. Reflecting on breakthroughs desired in each area serves as a guide for personal growth and transformation.

Embracing uncertainty, rather than fearing it, will do us the favour of forging a pathway to understanding our fears, building a relationship with ourselves, and fostering personal growth. In essence, life unfolds as a series of uncertainties, and our response to these uncertainties defines our experience.

Liberation comes from releasing the grip of control and trusting in the ebb and flow of life. The journey to thriving in the unknown is not instantaneous; it involves learning to avoid self-judgment, making better decisions, and relinquishing the victim mentality. As we do so, the creative spirit within reignites, and we embark on a quest where the best experiences in life are not handed to us; we actively pursue them.


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Articles