What does it mean to love? Is it a feeling, or a host of actions that translate into the word love?
Does anyone really know what they’re talking about, or are our definitions of love merely regurgitations of romantic novels and Kismet TV storylines we glued our eyes to in adolescence?
What does it mean to actually love?
Now hold on, I know it’s easy to assume love as one thing, a romantic thing shared between two people who feel attraction and enjoy the company of each other, but it extends far beyond that.
It shows up in so many forms; romantic, familial and platonic relationships, changing those vulnerable enough to feel it.
I’ve described it as though it’s abstract, an entity that possesses the unknowing, haven’t I?
Britannica describes love to be “an emotion characterized by strong feelings of affection for another, arising out of kinship, companionship, admiration, or benevolence.”
Whilst this is true, what I would distinguish love to be is the actions one takes, and the values they uphold towards the object of their love and affection, that is, respect, consideration, patience, understanding, kindness, the list goes on and on. Simply, it is about seeing exactly who they are and accepting them for it, flaws and all.
Now, to the economy of love.
The biggest take away from this economy is that it’s quite like all the others. Volatile. That means different macro and micro environments shape it and twist it about, leaving it incredibly unpredictable and those who trade within it completely at risk.
GDP, employment rates and inflation substitute respect, consideration and patience, constantly in flux and often unpredictable.
But what holds it together when everything is inundated is the constant of love.
Its duty is to prop you up when you’re down and out, make you calm when you’re anxious, reassure you when it feels like nothing else does and pick up the slack when your other half falls short.
It’s not always balanced, you may find yourself texting your best friend more often than they do you, but you’re humble enough to understand they may just be having a bad week.
That’s the type of love we should all strive for.
Love is not self seeking or self involved, it relinquishes logic and focuses on compassion, especially when it’s hard.
Our understandings or perceptions of love have been dangerously sullied by dumbos with mics on the internet, imploring you to feel insecure and leave just when things get uncomfortable, or making you the victim of comparison, burning your eyes at 2am as you see countless posts of women with money filled bouquets and grand gestures.
Whilst these big shows of affection are still a way of showing one’s love, I believe a lot of people have gotten it all a bit confused, thinking that if you don’t get this all the time, then you are not loved, forgetting that not everything that meets the eye is as it appears.
It allows you to overlook all the things the ones that love you do, stocking the fridge with your favourite drink, thinking of you when they hear a song and sending it, rushing home to spend time with you because their day has been long and hard, going out of their way to be in service to you even though they may feel burnt out.
Love is just as much in the quiet moments as it is in the loud ones, arguably more so, and it’s important we don’t lose sight of that.
It is without a doubt something to be done, not felt, something to be learnt, not assumed.
Another year and Valentines has rolled around again, I say none of this from any position of authority, maybe some experience but no pedestal.
I simply urge you to have a think about what love is to you and be liberal with how you show it, remembering that it is in the moments that feel inconsequential that it can mean the most.
Happy Valentine’s Day, love bugs.
