Dear Beamers,
Greetings!
Parents play a crucial role in influencing their children’s decision-making and overall career paths. However, the extent of their involvement in this process is a subject of debate. Should parents persuade their children to pursue careers that life experience suggests are pathways to financial stability and emotional well-being, or should they allow their children to follow their own passions? Answering this question requires a thorough examination of the facts and expert guidance, which is addressed in this week’s newsletter. This issue continues our commitment to providing insights on significant societal concerns in our community and across Nigeria.
As humans, we are inherently protective. We strive to shield future generations from the challenges we have faced. This protective instinct drives parents to seek the best for their children, whether it be environment, facilities, clothing, nutrition, or, most importantly, education. However, determining the optimal career path for their children adds a layer of complexity. Deciding on an educational path becomes particularly challenging when children graduate from school, as many have yet to identify their true interests at this pivotal stage.
It is unsurprising that many students lack a logical or satisfactory answer when asked why they chose a particular course or subject in higher institutions. Often, their responses reflect their parents’ preferences or advice. This tells that, parents frequently intervene in the decision-making process to ensure their children follow what they perceive as the “ideal” career path. With both parent and child attempting to shape the future, who should have the final say in this crucial decision?
As parents, your children will seek your advice and guidance, even if they are reluctant to admit it. Ensuring that your children are set up for successful careers, future financial security, and a good quality of life is a significant challenge for every parent. This concern grows as children advance in age and academics, indicating their progression towards independence. To facilitate this transition, a certain level of parental intervention is necessary to ensure children are guided toward happiness and not set up for misery. Parenting involves not only providing care and support into adulthood but also understanding economic trends to guide children seamlessly into their futures, preventing them from starting from scratch as their parents might have had to do.
“Parents often hold strong beliefs about success and what makes up a perfect life for their children. They believe they have figured out life and expect their children to follow their advice to achieve success. Everything they teach their children is based on these beliefs and their own life experiences. Many parents try to protect their children from the mistakes they made themselves, whether knowingly or unknowingly. While parents can steer their children away from some pitfalls, mistakes are inevitable in their journey. These mistakes are crucial for personal growth because they indicate that children are trying new things or taking different paths in life.” Says Abdul-zahir Moshood
Kehinde Omoniyi, a father of three, offers his advice on how parents can influence their children’s career choices. In his words,
“Having a strong and mature parent-child relationship is necessary for a child to feel comfortable and open with their parent. When it comes to choosing a career, parents should guide but not impose their decisions, because as children grow, they become curious and parents should help them understand things. Offer guidance in decision-making, support their choices, give them space and time to explore their talents, encourage them to pursue their interests and dreams. As a parent, your words have a profound impact on your child.”
Each child is unique and may possess different skills and abilities than their parents. Therefore, imposing a similar career path on them may not be appropriate. A child does not have to become a doctor just because their parent owns a hospital or excels in surgery. Similarly, a child should not be compelled to pursue tailoring simply because their parent is a renowned designer, nor should they feel obligated to continue a family trade that has been passed down through generations.
Indeed, when it comes to inherited trades, maintaining a legacy is important. However, rather than being coerced, children should be helped to understand the significance of the profession and be allowed to develop a natural passion for it. If they remain uninterested, they should have the freedom to choose their own paths. Although parents may believe they know what will lead to a successful future, the reality is that children know themselves better than anyone, including their parents. By choosing their own career paths, children can ensure they pursue futures aligned with their interests. This allows them to enjoy fulfilling careers rather than enduring monotonous lives.
Children often draw inspiration from TV shows or events, developing interests in specific hobbies and professions. This is evident when they frequently tune into channels featuring adventure, talk shows, or medical series, keen to stay updated. Being an understanding parent does not mean blindly supporting a child’s passion to avoid disappointment. Instead, it is crucial to actively guide them by helping them learn more through research or real-life experiences. At a young age, children have numerous career options to explore. By helping them delve deeper into the ones they seem to love, parents can assist them in determining whether their interest is genuine or simply admiration for others practicing it. This approach enables children to make informed career choices based on their true inclinations, rather than being influenced by media portrayals or superficial impressions.
Indeed, parents possess valuable knowledge and life experience that can inform decisions about their children’s interests and talents, guiding them toward suitable career paths. However, this approach doesn’t always yield successful outcomes. Adolescents often rebel against their parents, particularly during puberty when significant decisions must be made. Such rebellious phases are natural and should be expected. Parents should strive to nurture children who are assertive and capable of making their own decisions, rather than molding them into compliant individuals dictated solely by societal expectations.
Ogungbemi Heritage emphasizes the importance for parents to recognize that children require space and time to discover their genuine aspirations. In his words,
“We all take time to find our path. Parents often advise us to choose a course we might like or suggest applying for certain jobs. While they may think they’re guiding us in the right direction, parents should also understand that everyone needs space and time to discover their true passions. For instance, I wanted to pursue interior design, but my parents insisted on accounting because of their own positive experiences with the field, especially my accountant father. However, what worked for them doesn’t necessarily fit everyone, and now I feel like I’m living my parents’ dream instead of my own.”
Parents are an invaluable gift to their children, providing unparalleled love and support. Despite their occasional strictness, some parents may act out of a fear of failure, worried that their children might blame them for any future shortcomings. They may impose their beliefs and preferences, believing it is in the child’s best interest, regardless of the child’s feelings at the moment, confident that understanding will come with time. Similarly, parents may project their own unrealized dreams onto their children, hoping to see these dreams fulfilled vicariously. However, this approach is not ideal. It is preferable for parents and children to collaboratively decide on career paths. Parents can offer guidance based on their experiences while allowing children to explore their interests and gather information to make informed decisions. This approach ensures that both perspectives are considered, leading to choices that align with the child’s aspirations and capabilities.
In conclusion, parents foster their children’s confidence and independence through love, care, and support, empowering them to make informed decisions about their future careers. By actively participating in their children’s education and career guidance, parents can assist them in selecting paths that align with their strengths, interests, and values, leading to fulfilling careers. While there are both positive and negative aspects to parental involvement in a child’s career choice, ultimately, the decision should rest with the child as it directly impacts their future and life. Therefore, parents should prioritize their child’s interests and talents, taking a supportive role. The overarching objective for parents should be to ensure that the chosen career path enables their child to achieve independence and fulfillment in the future.
